Day Right Quote #58: Quit Watering Dead Flowers

What a joy visiting Hawaii's famous Talk Story Bookstore, meeting owners Ed and Cynthia Justus and hearing their surprising secrets to building a successful life and business in an out-of-the-way location. Here are a few take-aways from my interview with them. The #1 Prerequisite for a Profitable Retail Business is NOT Location, Location, Location - It’s Clarity, Clarity, Clarity

Their bookstore is on the least-visited major island and in a town of less than 3000 people. Yet they have been one of Hawaii’s Top 50 Fastest-Growing businesses for the past five years. TripAdvisor says they’re THE #1 visitor destination on Kauai.

How can this be? In one word …CLARITY. Clarity is the new location. Clarity about who they are. What they want. What they don’t want. And they stay true to those priorities. Which means gently and firmly enforcing their rules.

For example, you’ve heard “There’s no crying in baseball?” Well, there are no thongs in bookstores. At least not in THEIR bookstore. The twenty-something who walked in wearing her version of an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie yellow polka-dot bikini was asked to honor their posted sign, “No shoes, no shirt, no shorts, no service.”

The woman who told them she was going to leave her kids in the store while she went shopping across the street? Nope. “This is a bookstore, not a babysitting service.”

PAVE THE PATHS

Ed and Cynthia didn’t have a background in the book biz and didn’t plan on buying a bookstore. They visited Kauai on their honeymoon and liked it so much, they decided to take a leap of faith and stay. How did they make money from the first day they put their sign up, when they had no experience in the industry?

Ed says, “Amazon’s website taught us everything we needed to know about book-selling. Instead of us trying to figure out which books to stock and what to charge, we simply followed the favorites. Why re-create the wheel? Their site told us the most popular books in each genre and the going price for gently-used books.”

I said, “That’s brilliant. There’s an urban legend called ‘Pave the Paths’ which recommends that instead of prematurely installing sidewalks at public places (e.g., colleges and county buildings), it's smarter to wait and find out where people naturally walk and then put the sidewalks there.

That’s what you did. Instead of stocking what you hoped might sell, you 'booked the beloveds' and bought proven ever-greens that have a track record of always being in demand."

Don’t follow The Rules; Follow Your Values

For example, the “rules” say a brick and mortar store has to have a cash register, right? The problem is, cash registers lock you into one location, often in a front corner of your store. What if you have a customer in back who can’t find what they want? If there’s no one around to answer their question, they often leave and don't come back.

Ed and Cyndi don’t have a cash register; they have cash belts. Wearing a cash belt around their waist gives them freedom to wander the store and connect with their customers. While I was there, they greeted every single person who walked in the store. One was always out on the floor, asking people if they were looking for something in particular and then pointing out recommended authors in their preferred genre.

The trend of many bookstores is to offer coffee to attract customers. Well, they tried that and you know what they learned? Coffee sells coffee. Books sell books.

Another “rule” of retail businesses is you need to diversity if you want to grow. So, they added an art gallery with works from local artists. A restaurant. Book clubs. Internet service. Chairs so people could sit.

Guess what they discovered? Those extra services took lots of extra time and effort, created a lot of problems they didn't want or need ... and didn’t boost profits. In fact, Cyndi said, “We found that for every chair we took away, we added an extra $1000 of income. People who sit and read books for free for hours often walk out without buying any books."

The rules say a retail business needs an inventory system. Ed said, “Why? We mostly stock one copy of each book. Why spend a lot of time logging in and tracking single sales? Plus, we handle every purchase so we know what’s selling and what’s not.”

The Secret to Loving Your Life and Work? Stop Watering Dead Plants

As we talked, it was clear to me that one of the reasons they’ve been so successful is they QUIT doing things that didn’t work; that didn’t make money; and that didn’t bring them joy. This frees up time and money for business activities that contribute to their quality of life instead of compromise it.

They quit the belief that bigger is better. They've built and sustained a successful business because they've honored their belief, "If we don't love it; we don't do it. If it doesn't add personal and professional value, we drop it."

Chip Away Everything That is NOT David

I told them, “There’s a (perhaps apocryphal) story about Michelangelo who said, when asked how he creating his masterpiece sculpture, ‘It’s easy. I just chipped away everything that wasn’t David.’"

I smiled and said, "You have ‘David’d your business and life. You have chipped away everything that isn’t congruent with your values and vision. As a result, the light is on in your eyes and you’re successful for all the right reasons.”

So, what surprising lessons did I take away from my time with Ed and Cyndi?

* CLARIFY your values, vision, priorities and policies and STAY TRUE to them.

* Quit watering dead plants and DAVID your life and business.

* Gently and firmly ENFORCE RULES to protect what’s important to you.

When we do the above, we build a successful life, business and career where the light is on in our eyes - and things just keep getting better and better – for all the right reasons.

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Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert, is on a mission to help people create quality projects that add value for all involved. Her work - including her TEDx talk - and books POP!, IDEApreneur, Tongue Fu! and Got Your Attention? have been featured in NY Times, Forbes, Fast Company and presented to NASA, National Geographic, Capital One, YPO. Want Sam to share her inspiring insights on how to create a successful life and career at your next convention? Contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com

Lesson #9 From My Year by the Water: Fun Is Not a Four-Letter Word

When people ask what prompted me to give away 95% of what I owned and take off for a Year by the Water, I often tell them what Andrew said, “Mom, you’re created a life where you can do anything you want, and you’re not taking advantage of it.” He helped me realize the clock is ticking. Not in a morbid way. In a motivating way. But I was also ready to do the opposite of my always. I love my work, but I was pretty much going-going-going seven days a week. I was exhausted. (Sound familiar?)

Then, like many busy people I know, I came down with a respiratory illness that wouldn’t get better. I “soldiered through” for weeks (got to keep my commitments, right?) until I was so sick I could hardly get out of bed.

A friend took me to Urgent Care. After checking my lungs, the doc diagnosed walking pneumonia, prescribed bed rest and antibiotics, and then said, “I don’t understand why so many people are working themselves to death. You’re lucky we can treat this with a Z-pack. You’ll be fine in ten days. But if you don’t start taking better care of yourself, your body will do something else to get your attention.”

Hmm. What is it with this Puritan Work Ethic? Why do so many of us believe hard work is noble? Why do 55% of Americans NOT take all their paid vacation days? (Fact!) Why do so many of us feel it’s only okay to “play” when all our work is done? Since, for many of us, our work is never done, we never find time to have fun. We just get more and more run down.

I’m supposed to know better than this.

Guess what my major was in college? Recreation Administration! Career counselors kept suggesting I study law or medicine to make the most of my brain, but I grew up playing sports and believed they're at the center of a happy, healthy life. Even though some people told me this was a “joke degree for slackers,” I worked my way through college coaching swim teams, running community centers, organizing sports leagues and was a walking/talking advocate of the benefits of being active outdoors.

Yet, for a number of reasons, for the past couple of decades, I’ve spent more time sitting and spectating than being active. Let’s unpack that for a moment.

As parents, it’s easy for our days to become filled with chauffeuring kids to practices, games and activities while we sit in the car. on the bleachers or on the sidelines. Yet, when I think about my athletic career growing up, my mom came to one of my swim meets and my dad came to one of my tennis matches. That was it. And I didn’t feel bereft, abandoned or unloved. They had their life, I had mine.

As entrepreneurs, or if we have financial and family care-taking responsibilities, we can be in constant biz dev mode, constant got-to-work two jobs to pay bills mode, or constant “It’s selfish to go off and do something my own thing when my parents, kids, friends, neighbors (fill in the blank) need me.”

One of the most important epiphanies from My Year by the Water is, “It’s NOT SELFISH to do something that makes up happy; it’s SMART. It’s not indulgent or frivolous to do something each week that fills us with joy; it’s an investment in a more fulfilling life ... now and in the years to come.”

Please understand, I’m not suggesting we abandon our obligations and only do what we want. I’m suggesting we balance our responsibility to others with a responsibility to our selves to stay happy, healthy and in love with life.

My Year by the Water was SO MUCH FUN. Swimming with Zach the Dolphin. Seeing the sun rise over Diamond Head while riding the waves off Waikiki. Exploring Monet’s Garden. Reveling in a road of my own. Never knowing what was over the next knoll, around the next bend.

Now that I’m on to my next adventure – spending time with my sons, their wives and their brand new babies – I’ve promised myself to NOT let the rubber band of routine snap back and return to being a desk potato.

Like today, for example. I spent a good eight hours at the computer prepping for consulting appointments and working on my new book; but then the mountains called. A friend told me about Colorado Chautauqua I jumped online and discovered it was less than five miles away. I jumped in my car and fifteen minutes later was hiking the golden foothills, exploring the Flatirons and checking out this historic national landmark -which Theodore Roosevelt called “The Most American Thing in America.

So, here’s to fun NOT being a four-letter word. Here’s to fun being an active part of our life (intentional play on words) so we’re enjoying our lives, taking care of ourselves and making the most of our health … now, not someday.

People Can't Jump On Your Bandwagon If It's Parked in the Garage

“If you don’t go, you’ll never know.” – Robert De Niro

Many of us operate with the opposite of Robert De Niro’s insight.

If we don’t know; we don’t go. The problem with that?

By definition, anytime we try something for the first time, anytime we launch a new venture ... we DON’T KNOW what we’re doing.

If “knowing what we’re doing” is a prerequisite for moving forward … we never move forward.

Yikes.That’s where GTS comes in. What’s GTS? Let me explain.

A year after my son Andrew graduated from VA Tech with a business degree, we were having dinner.

Andrew had “lucked out” and found a job as an executive recruiter. He was the envy of his college buddies because he was working in a classy downtown office building, making good money and working for a respected, well-connected industry icon who was arranging for him to do neat things like work at events with President Obama and Tony Bennett. Not the normal career trajectory.

Yet, as Andrew talked about his work, I could tell the light had gone out in his eyes. There was no spark. In fact, he used a word I’d never heard him use before. Exhausted.

I asked, “So, are you going down to VA Tech this weekend for Homecoming?”

“Nah. By the time I’d drive down there, I’d only have a few hours before I’d have to turn around and come back. I just don’t have the energy. I’m exhausted.”

Exhausted?!? How could that be? How was it this normally energetic 20-something who "had it all" was feeling burned out?

I asked, “Andrew, what’s up?”

He said, “Mom, I want to quit. I'm grateful for this job, but sitting inside all day at a computer researching job openings and making cold calls is not what I was born to do.”

“What do you want to do?”

Andrew said with a huge smile,. “I want to start a non-profit.”

I have to admit, a conservative person I didn’t even know existed in me popped up and perched on the tip of my tongue. This person wanted to say, “Non-profit?! Do you know how many non-profits are going out of business because donations have dried up? How are you going to pay bills? What about health insurance?”

Thank heaven a wiser voice in me prevailed that asked, “Isn’t this exactly what 20-somethings ought to be doing at this stage of their life?. If Andrew doesn’t go for what he wants now, he may never get a chance later. Good for him for wanting to do work that matters. His dream deserves to be supported, not shut down.”

So, instead of bringing up all the reasons this might not work, I said, “Andrew, you’ve always been resourceful. If you apply yourself and put your mind to it, I know you can pull this off.”

You may be thinking, “But how could Andrew pull this off? He’d never run a non-profit before. He doesn't even know what it takes to make this a success.”

That’s true, and that’s where GTS comes in. GTS stands for Google That Stuff. (As you can imagine, Millennials sometimes substitute another word for stuff.)

Andrew thanked his boss for giving him that job opportunity right out of college – and then promptly got online and Googled “How can I start a non-profit?”

Up came dozens of resources – all telling Andrew exactly what steps he needed to take to "get his bandwagon out of the garage" - how to get a license, develop operating procedures, find a team, develop a website and get funding.

In the course of one year, Andrew recruited 20 (!) interns and found a collaborative work space at the Affinity Lab in Washington DC. It was the ideal environment to get other people on his bandwagon. For example, someone a couple desks over would ask, “Andrew, what are you working on today?”

Andrew would say, “I’m applying for a grant,” and she would say, “Oh, I did that last year. You can borrow my grant proposal and use it as a template.”

Or, he'd admit he'd run into an obstacle finding a location for one of his activities, and that person would say, "Here's the phone number of ____. Call her and let her know I referred you to her." Voila, That lead was exactly what he needed to jump the chain of command and arrange for a water-sports event at a local lake park.

Andrew never had to go it alone as he was surrounded by others who shared and supported his vision and had his back … and front.

The result? Dreams for Kids/DC has sponsored hundreds of adaptive athletic programs for kids with disabilities and gotten them off the sidelines and into the games of life. They have sponsored Extreme Recess clinics with the Washington Nationals, Capitals, Wizards, Mystics and United soccer teams, and made a positive difference for thousands of young people through their Dream Leader programs in schools and their annual Holiday for Hope program at Howard University.

The point? None of this would have happened if Andrew had given up before he started because he ... “didn’t know what he was doing.”

If there’s anything I’ve learned after interviewing hundreds of people about how they set their SerenDestiny in motion – it’s that PEOPLE CAN’T JUMP ON YOUR BANDWAGON IF ITS PARKED IN THE GARAGE.

What do you want to do? What would put the light on in your eyes? Are you hesitating because you don’t know what to do?

Remember – you don’t have to know to go. In fact, the only way you'll ever know is to go.

Get online right now and GTS that dream project that would put the light on in your eyes. . Phrase what you want to do as a question and put it into your favorite search engine – and up will come dozens of resources to help you on your way.

Want to write a book? Google "How can I write a book?"

What to become a ballroom dancer? Google "Where can I take ballroom dance lessons in this zip code?

Want to launch your own business? Google "How can I start my own ___ and then fill in the blanks, e.g., dog walking business, web design business?

Want this year to be your best ever? Want the light on in your eyes? Don't wait until you have all your ducks in a row. GO! GTS what you want to do. And then get your bandwagon (your dream project) out of the garage and get moving.

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Want an update on Andrew Horn? After ensuring the continued leadership of DFK-DC, he has launched a new "bandwagon." Check out TRIBUTE

Want more insights on how to get your bandwagon out of the garage? Check out other posts on Sam Horn's website SERENDESTINY which shares inspiring lessons-learned from her Year by the Water and tips on how you can create a love you love that matters.

Report from NOVUS Summit at the UN

People ask if I'm still speaking and consulting while on my Year by the Water. The answer to that is an emphatic YES.

In fact, it's like having the best of both worlds.

I get to travel the country, visiting unexplored territory (literally and figuratively) and writing about my experiences and epiphanies . . and I get to continue to do work I love, attending and keynoting conferences.

That's what happened last Sunday when I had the distinct honor of being a delegate to the NOVUS Summit at the United Nations.  Here are just a few of the highlights of that incredible day.

One of the speakers talked about there being two types of people in the world - those who wear a red cape and "fight bad things"- and those who wear a blue cape and "grow good things."

The speaker who originated this insight (and I would love to attribute this to the right speaker - so if you know who said this, please contact me so I can give credit where credit is due) claims we NEED BOTH red cape people and blue cape people.

We need people who are willing to step up, take on the dark forces and do something about them.

And we need people who initiate and create positive breakthroughs and technological advances that benefit us all.

(Personally, I think there is a third kind of person. Black cape people who choose to rant and rave or complain about what's wrong. It's tempting and oh-so-easy to do that. Especially when we watch what's happening on the news and are outraged, worried or discouraged by it. But .. it ... doesn't ... help. It only adds to the darkness - only amplifies what's wrong.)

Closing speaker Peter Diamandis, founder of the X Prize Foundation and co-founder of Singularity University, is a walking-talking example of a blue caper.

Whether it is his book on Abundance; or his passion and purpose for leveraging innovation in the various X Prize competitions; he is a model for how we can choose to allocate our time, attention and resources to creating initiatives that pro-actively address issues and add value for all involved.

As Peter says, "Lots of people dream big and talk about big bold ideas but never do anything. I judge people by what they've done. The ratio of something to nothing is infinite. So just do something."

Peter is a 100% blue cape DOER - as was every single one of the thought-leaders featured on Sunday including:

* Peabody winner and former head of the CNN International desk Parisa Khosravi, who asked the provocative question, "What if were to COME BACK to earth? Would we see it with fresh, more empathetic, proactive eyes?"

* astronauts Anousheh Ansari, Dan Barry and Scott Parazynski, who all made good on their childhood dreams of going into space and who are now leveraging what they've learned "up there" by applying it "down here."

* Maysoon Zayid, who has the most watched TED talk of 2014 with more than 7 1/2 million views. Within the first two minutes, we all understood why. Maysoon, an Arab-American actress, stand-up comic, philanthropist and advocate for the disabled, is a force of nature. As she says, "I'm like Shakira meets Muhannad Ali. I shake all the time. I have 99 problems; cerebral palsy is just one of them."

* Martin Seligman, often called the "Father of Positive Psychology," who gave this piece of deceptively simple - yet profound - advice. Before you go to bed tonight (and every night), ask yourself, "What are three things that went well today? How did I contribute to that?

I love this idea because it's a way to "blue cape" our perspective.

Think about it. When we reflect on our day, we have a choice.

We can focus on - and rant and rave about or be discouraged by - what went wrong (a black cape).

Or we can focus on - and celebrate, appreciate and elevate - what went well (a blue cape).

Choosing to focus on what went well renews our appreciation keeps our blessings front and center and top of mind.

Perhaps even more importantly, thinking about how we might have played a role in what went well helps us understand and own the fact that we can - in fact, we are - contributing to the well-being of ourselves and others', right here, right now

We don't have to be a thought-leader at the UN to be a blue caper.

That's wonderful and welcome. But on a daily basis, every single one of us can choose to focus on growing good things. And when we do, everyone benefits.

Kudos to Kunal and his team for creating an event that focused on and grew good things - not just for everyone in that grand hall - but for everyone who will be positively impacted by what was shared and initiated on Sunday.

Look Closer

Do you know one of the biggest lessons I've learned as a result of my Year by the Water and from 20 years of researching, writing and speaking about attention, concentration and focus? The quality of our life is directly proportionate to our quality of attention. 

Yet, as explained in Got Your Attention? … goldfish have longer attention spans than we do.

I’m not making that up. That’s from research by Harvard professor Nancy F. Koehn. Goldfish = 9 seconds. Human beings = 8 seconds.

What that means is we tend to rush through life distracted, impatient, perpetually on to the next thing.

At work, we're constantly interrupted and besieged with conflicting priorities.

We rarely really focus on anything. As a result, we don’t really connect.

The good news? There’s an antidote to this.

Three times a day, take three minutes to do this simple ConZentration Look Closer Exercise. Simply stop what you’re doing and really SEE who you’re talking to, SEE what you’re doing.

As soon as you do, you will feel a newfound appreciation for that person or activity. You will find yourself really listening to that person. You'll find yourself more deeply engaged in that task. It’s amazing how accessible focused connection is. It is, literally and figuratively, a moment’s NOTICE away.

I’ve collected my six favorite quotes about seeing – with some added comments – and share them here. They're excerpted from Got Your Attention? (which Marshall Goldsmith says is a "must for every leader") and from ConZentrate – a book I wrote about how to stay focused in an unfocused world and which Dr. Stephen Covey endorsed as "Remarkable, thought-provoking, fascinating, motivating"

Hope you find them thought-provoking. You might even want to post a favorite quote where you’ll see it every day as a reminder to stop and really SEE who you’re talking to, SEE what you’re doing.

Taking the time to stop and SEE who you're with and what you're doing is the first step to creating SerenDestiny - a life where the light is on in your eyes.  It's the key to being IN your life and fully experiencing it rather than rushing through it and looking back with regrets, wondering where it went.  It’s the first step to staying focused at work instead of feeling constantly frazzled and frenetic.

Six Quotes on How to SEE Your Way to Improved Focus and Connection

1. The first words of our National Anthem, The Star Spangled Banner, are, “Oh, say, can you see…” The real question is, “Oh, say do you see…”

2. “Nobody sees a flower, really, it is so small, we haven’t time, and to see takes time.” – Georgia O’Keefe As mentioned, to see takes time and intent. We must give our mind an order and decide to focus our attention on THIS thing for THIS amount of time.

3. “Develop interest in life, in people, things, literature, music. The world is simply throbbing with rich treasure, beautiful souls, fascinating people.” – Henry Miller There is no excuse, ever, for being bored. That is simply a lack of imagination and a lack of really seeing the miracles that surround us every single day.

4. “Life is postponed until further notice.” -Sam Horn The quality of your life is directly proportionate to the quality of your attention and connection.  Put yourself on NOTICE now.

5. “When the eye wakes up to see again, it suddenly stops taking anything for granted.” – Frederick Franck The second you really SEE someone or something; you’re flooded with renewed appreciation. Attention = appreciation.

6. “The whole of life lies in the verb seeing.” – Teilhard de Chardin Every time I see this quote, something deep within me says, “YES, emphatically YES.” Not seeing = not connecting.   Fully seeing = fully connecting.

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Want more? Check out Sam’s books – Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? which Marshall Goldsmith calls "a must for every leader" and ConZentrate which Dr. Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People) endorsed as “Remarkable, fascinating, thought-provoking, motivating.”

Or, contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com to arrange for Sam Horn to present her GOT FOCUS? keynote to your convention or corporate meeting. Discover for yourself why her programs on how to focus and concentrate have received excellent ratings from NASA, been featured on NPR; and how they can help your employees be more focused, mindful, connected and productive at work.

Are You in the Desert of Your Dream?

It’s hard to believe, but it was only five years ago that Serena Williams suffered what could have been life/career-ending injuries, including two foot surgeries and a pulmonary embolism. Serena is quoted as saying she didn't know if she would "get out of the hospital," much less play tennis again. In 2011, her sister Venus Williams was diagnosed with ‪#‎SjogrensSyndrome‬, an auto-immune disease that causes numbness, joint pain, swelling and extreme fatigue.

Yet, today, Serena won her 22nd grand slam title at Wimbledon to tie Steffi Graf, and she and Venus are playing in the doubles final, (even though they were ranked #250 in the world and unseeded in the doubles draw of this tournament).

I can only imagine Serena and Venus were tempted to give up when they were in pain, when they could hardly walk. It would have been so easy to give up when all looked bleak.

But they wasn’t finished. They weren't willing to turn their backs on their talent. They believed they still had greatness in them.

Instead of abandoning their dream, they re-dedicated themselves and chose to use those setbacks as INCENTIVE vs. an EXCUSE.

As a result of re-committing themselves to doing and being their best and fighting for what they cared about, they’ve reached a much-welcomed oasis of success.

The beauty of this? Their success is not a mirage; it is a well-earned reality.

Their success is a result of deciding that what they wanted mattered enough to to persevere through the dark times … even when there were no guarantees.

How about you? Are you in the desert of your dream?

Are things not working out the way you hoped? Have you received bad news? Are people not seeing what you’re seeing, not believing what you’re believing?

If you’re an entrepreneur, are you not getting the clients or contracts you deserve?

If you’re in an organization, are you not getting the projects or promotions you deserve?

If you’re in between jobs, are you not getting the interviews, call-backs or offers you deserve?

Are you planning your own adventure - your own version of a Year by the Water - but it's not coming together as you hoped?

Could you choose to “pull a Serena?” Could you persevere like Venus?

Could you remember who you are and what you want and choose to live forward ... no matter what?

Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

Looking backwards, every successful person will tell you there were setbacks along the way that seemed unsurmoutable - that could have drained their conviction and caused them to quit.

Instead, they transcended those doubts and carried on through the down times. In doing so, they re-established momentum and moved closer to making their dream a well-earned reality.

As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” He also said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."

If you are facing setbacks, remember who you are and what you want. Choose to see those setbacks as incentive rather than as an excuse.

Believe in your dream. Believe in yourself. Keep the courage. Continue.

Has My Career Become an Aircraft Carrier?

 I had the pleasure of sharing my "What's Your Legacy Message?" workshop with ‪#‎CAM‬ - Conversation Among Masters - last week in Las Vegas.

This is a unique group of the world's top master coaches who have the tangible joy of doing work they love that matters.

The thing is, many have been doing this type of work for 20-30 years.

What can we do NEXT when we really like where we are?  How can we evolve and move forward in fresh, perhaps even more meaningful, ways instead of doing what we've always done?

Many participants came up after my workshop to tell me my "aircraft carrier" metaphor really resonated with them.

One said, "I never saw my career as an aircraft carrier. Now that I do, I see how easy it would be to just keep steaming along in the same direction unless I choose to do things differently."

I shared with the group that a Navy pilot who used to fly off aircraft carriers told me something about them I've never forgotten.

"Do you know how you STOP an aircraft carrier? You DON'T. You can turn off the engines, but it keeps going for miles because of its mass and momentum. Even if you put the engines in FULL REVERSE, it takes up to 4 miles to come to a complete halt. Just to TURN an aircraft carrier can take up to 10 miles."

I shared that one of the reasons I decided to take off on my YEAR BY THE WATER adventure is because I realized my life/work had become an aircraft carrier, A GOOD one, but still, an aircraft carrier.

I'd lived in the same area for 14 years. I've been speaking, writing and consulting for 25 years. I've engaged in the same hobbies/habits for 30 years.

There was nothing WRONG with my life. I was happy. I loved my family, friends, job, the people I get to work with, where I lived.

But if we agree with Jeff Bezos that it's a danger not to evolve ...

If we agree with Helen Keller that life is abundant and supposed to be an adventure, an experiment ...

And I do ...

Then it was time to jump off the carrier and do something different.

It's a big ocean out there and I was only seeing/experiencing part of it.

In our program, I shared many reasons people DON'T get off their aircraft carriers. Responsibilities. Obligations. People depending on them. Fear. Bills to pay. Perceived lack of money or education. The default of habits. The anchor of the status quo.

Some of us simply don't know what to do next and we're not about to abandon a "sure thing" for the uncertain.

We addressed those "barriers to exit," and I shared inspiring success stories of people who overcame their initial "failure to launch."

I shared that one barrier that's come up for me, and that seems to be an issue for many people, is that jumping off an aircraft carrier can come across as "selfish" when we have others relying on us.

Such is the case for George R.R. Martin. Yes, the author of the incredibly successful Game of Thrones series.

I read a startling excerpt from a Daily Mash interview where GRRM (as he's called in the biz) said,

“I was a hundred thousand words into Winds of Winter. I’ve got armies in one continent, zombies in another, dragons burning things all over the place and numerous uninteresting sub-plots involving minor noblemen whose names I cannot currently recall. It is, by anyone’s reckoning, a ... nightmare.

I was looking at several more months of inhumanly hard graft and even then everyone is bound to slag it off as ‘unsatisfying’.

Meanwhile it is a lovely day outside and I am an older man with more money than I can possibly ever spend.

You tell me why I should finish this? It’s an honest question. Someone else can do it if they like, I’m cool with that.”

WOW. George R. R. Martin is seriously considering JUMPING SHIP.

As you can imagine, his publisher, HBO and millions of fans are pressuring him not to. They want, need, expect him to continue producing the books they love.

The question is, "WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY?"

After dedicating decades of his life to creating a series that has delighted people around the world and made millions of dollars - for him and others - does he have the RIGHT to do what HE wants at this stage of his career and life?  To put his commitments aside and enjoy the lovely day outside?

Who is he beholden to? His fans and followers? Or himself?

How about you?

Has your life and career become an aircraft carrier? A successful aircraft carrier? Will you keep steaming along because lots of people are counting on you to keep doing what you're doing? At what cost?

Do you have the right to do what YOU want? Is that selfish? Whose life is it, anyway?

Even if your life and career are headed in good directions, are they the SAME directions they've been going in for decades?

Is it time to evolve, to explore other areas of the ocean you haven't yet seen?

There are options of course.

Maybe we don't have to jump off the carrier. Maybe we just fly off the carrier now and then to take side trips. Maybe we can turn the carrier in new directions, explore different parts of the ocean, stop in new ports.

What are your thoughts about this?

What River Runs Through Your Life?

Did you see the movie A River Runs Through It? starring Brad Pitt, Craig Sheffer, Tom Skerritt ... and the beautiful Gallatin River? I've promised myself a trip to Montana (where many of the fly-fishing scenes were shot) this summer as part of My Year by the Water.

Ever since I saw that movie, I've thought about the themes - the rivers - that run through my life.

For example, I'm here in sunny Savannah, Georgia on the waterfront this weekend, and the river running through this experience is ‪#‎entrepreneurship‬.

I've had the pleasure and privilege of being an entrepreneur for 30 years.

I love having autonomy and the freedom to get an idea, run with it  and turn it into a reality ... with no committees, red-tape or bureaucracy.

As Katherine Graham of the Washington Post put it, "To do work you love that matters with people you enjoy and respect; how could anything be more fun?"

That's the back-story and driving motivation of three entrepreneurs I met at the Springtime Craft Show held next door to where I'm staying at The Westin Savannah Harbor Golf Resort & Spa at the Savannah International Trade & Convention Center.

First is Lisa Schalk of Toffee To Go. A stay-at-home mom, she started making home-made toffee from a family recipe for Christmas presents. Recipients begged her to make more so they could gift it to their friends and family.

Her different flavors of toffee got such raves, she started going to weekend arts/crafts fairs where it kept selling out. She told her husband Jim, a hospitality executive at the time, "I think we've really got something here."

He thought people were just being "nice," until he went to an event and witnessed for himself the overwhelmingly enthusiastic response. Lisa and Jim decided to gamble on themselves and their product.  He quit his job and they went all in, full-time.

Fast forward. They've just bought a 16,000 foot warehouse, have been featured in Oprah Winfrey's Christmas issue, and they ship to corporate clients around the country. http://www.toffeetogo.com/about-us/

Lisa told me, "People tell us, 'Oh, you're so lucky that Oprah's Favorite Things found you." She smiled and said, "Luck is a lot of 2 a.m. nights, but it's worth it."

Next is the lovely Lynn Shore with her one-of-a-kind art-wear. Lynn told me, "My grandmother, who had the patience of Job, taught me to knit when I was eight. I started hand-crafting gifts for friends, and realized, 'This isn't just a hobby; it's a business.'

Over the years, I expanded into purses and clothing. Then I discovered these," she said, holding up a knitted necklace/scarf in her hands. "These don't have to fit," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "No more sleeve measurements. It's even more fun."

And yes, I bought some white chocolate-macademia nut toffee and a multi-color scarf/necklace:-)  Support ‪#‎SmalllBusiness‬!

I asked Lynn (who used to go to 42 ‪#‎festivals‬ a year, but has since scaled down), "What do you like best about them?"

"I am inspired by the creativity of humanity," she said. "It's a blessing to be here."

Next is the "Pretty Darn Good" salsa couple.  They created their own special blend with beans, corn, cilantro and secret ingredients for a Super Bowl party. Everyone loved it. They started making bigger and bigger batches. After retiring (he was a school teacher for decades), they now hit the road every weekend. He says, "It may be 8 degrees back home, but we know we'll be in Florida that Friday-Sunday visiting our daughter, meeting all kinds of interesting people and hearing their stories, while financing our retirement."

To come full circle, while researching A River Runs Through It, I discovered some intriguing entrepreneurial back-stories about how the book got published and the movie got made.

The author of the book, Norman Maclean, often recounted how his semi-autobiographical novella was rejected by every large commercial publisher he sent it to, including one that rejected it on the basis that it contained "too many trees". It was eventually published by the University of Chicago Press (in 1976) and went on to become an evergreen and a much-respected classic.

Director Robert Redford was an entrepreneur too; he courted Norman Maclean for years before finally gaining the rights to film the project.

So, what are the rivers that run through these ‪#‎entrepreneurial‬ success stories ?

Create something unique and exceptional and more people will want more of it.

Persevere when you believe something has value and you can ultimately prevail.

If you do the above, you too can turn a hobby into a business - a dream into reality.

You too can have the blessing of doing work you love that matters with people you enjoy and respect ... and get paid for it.

You too can introduce something to the world that puts the lights on in your eyes - and in the eyes of others.

What fun!

So, what are the rivers that are running through your life?

Don't Wait for Work You Love

"We don't FIND our calling - we create it." - Sam Horn, CEO of the INTRIGUE Agency and author of IDEApreneur People talk about finding their calling … as if it exists out there somewhere, intact, and all they have to do is look long enough and EUREKA, there it will be, hiding behind a tree.

I think our calling - doing work we love that matters - emerges from doing and pursuing things that matter to us.  It is a result of turning our passion into our profession and our joy into our job.

As former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Conner said, "I've had a good life and it's because I stayed busy doing things that mattered to me."

Some people tell me they wish they could turn their joy into their job and do work they love. 

I tell them, "Stop waiting and start creating. They often push back with, "I agree with that in theory, but HOW do I do it in practice?"

I share the backstory of how I got into this career when I didn't even know it was a career. I am doing work I didn’t even know existed when I was in college. There was no major in this. No degree in it.  No newspaper ads featuring this as a job description.  There was no map, no instructions, no directions.

I just navigated my way to my ideal work/life by honoring The Four I’s – Instincts, Interests, Integrity, Lights on IN our Eyes – which are our Career Compass.

The work I'm doing is an accumulation of intuitive steps I took along the way.  When I didn’t know what to do, I checked in with my Four I’s and they  pointed me in the right direction.

Here's what I mean. When I speak for organizations, people often come up afterwards and say some version of this: “It looks like you really enjoy what you do. I wish I could do work I loved. How'd you get started in this?”

Here’s how I got started creating my ideal career  ... and how you can too.

Years ago, I was reading The Washington Post and noticed that the word “concentration” was used six times on the front page of the sports section.

Tennis player Chris Evert said her ability to concentrate and stay focused despite the planes flying overhead was why she’d been able to win the U.S. Open.

A golfer who missed a gimme putt on a sudden death playoff hole said he’d lost his concentration because of the clicking cameras of nearby photographers.

A baseball manager blamed his team’s 7-game losing streak on the fact that players were thinking ahead to the playoffs instead of concentrating on that day’s game.

I was intrigued. (I’ve since come to understand that when we’re intrigued, opportunity is knocking on our heart.)

I thought, “We all wish we could concentrate better but no one ever teaches us how. Concentration is key to just about everything – success in business, relationships, sports and life – but I’ve never seen any books on this topic. I’ve never heard any speakers on this subject. And it matters.”

This topic interested me. I felt it was an important personal and professional skill that would benefit people, so it was in alignment with my integrity. And myinstincts were telling me there was a commercial need for this and people would pay to learn how to do it better.

So, I decided to do a deep dive into the topic of concentration, focus and flow.   I  interviewed athletes, artists, executives, inventors, entrepreneurs and “everyday people” to glean their insights and examples.  Sample questions included:

1.  How did you learn to concentrate?

2. What do you do to stay focused even when you’re busy, distracted or tired?

3. How do you motivate yourself to focus when you don’t feel like it?

4. How do you regain your concentration if you lose it?

5. Do you have any special techniques you use to set up flow and to s-t-r-e-t-c-h your attention span?”

Based on my research; I developed a step-by-step approach on how to pay attention - no matter what - and offered it for Wash DC’s Open University.

At the end of the program, several people came up to ask if I would speak for their conference or company.

That one workshop launched a rewarding career that has taken me around the world and given me blessed opportunities to do work I love that matters with people I enjoy and respect. It even resulted in a book called ConZentrate that’s been featured on Diane Rehm’s popular NPR show, taught at NASA and endorsed by Stephen Covey and Dr. Ed Hallowell ( a leading expert on A.D.D.)

What’s this got to do with you? Would you like to do work that matters to you and to others?  Just ask yourself:

1. What do I find Intriguing?  What interests me? 2. What is something that calls to me  that I think is in Integrity because it would benefit people and add value for them? 3. What is a problem, need or opportunity that has caught my attention and myInstincts are telling me, ‘Somebody should DO something about that?” 4. What puts the light on In my eyes when I'm doing it?

Please understand …you’re as much a somebody as anybody.  Why don’t you do something about it?

Choosing to pursue opportunities that are alignment with your Four I’s can catalyze a life of SerenDestiny where the light is on in your eyes.

From now on, remember, work we love is not out there waiting.  It’s a result of us creating. Pay attention to what honors your Instincts, Interests and Integrity, and Lights on IN the eyes.  

Then,  get busy doing and pursuing what matters to you. What lights you up is your GIFT and gifting that back to the world by getting paid to teach it TO people or do it FOR people is one of the quickest paths to a meaningful career where you earn a good living doing work you love that matter.

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Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert, TEDx speaker, author of IDEApreneur, Tongue Fu! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? – feels fortunate to do work she loves, speaking for National Geographic, Boeing, Cisco, Capital One, writing books that add value, and helping consulting clients craft quality projects that scale their impact – for good. Want Sam to speak at your next conference? Email Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com for details.