What Voice are You Listening To?

"There are always two voices sounding in our ears – the voice of FEAR and the voice of CONFIDENCE. One is the clamor of the senses, the other is the whispering of the higher self.” – Charles Newcomb I love Newcomb’s quote because it captures the emotions we experience when facing new situations and making important decisions at Crucial Crossroads.

We can give in to the clamor of the senses or honor the whispering of our higher self and move our life forward – for good.

The importance of this was dramatically demonstrated in an outing I took with my friend Leslie years ago on New Year’s Day.

I was still living in Hawaii at the time. The winter surf was booming so we ventured out to the North Shore of Oahu to tackle the waves at Hawaii’s famous Waimea Bay.

Leslie and I were both strong swimmers. I paticipanted in the Waikiki Rough Water Swim and Leslie was a “fish” who was completely comfortable in the water. Plus, we were only going to the inside set, not out by the jetty where the really big waves were.

But still . . .

Leslie and I stood on the beach with our boogie boards, wondering, “Should we go in . . . shouldn’t we go in?”

If we went in, we could get turned inside out, upside down and deposited on the beach.

On the other hand, we could have an incredibly exhilarating experience, the thrill of a lifetime.

Twenty minutes later, we were still standing on the beach, wondering, “Should we . . . . shouldn’t we . . . should we . . . . shouldn’t we?”

We finally looked at each other simultaneously and said, “Let’s go in. We’ll never know standing out here.”

I remember as if it were yesterday working our way out past that surf line, hanging onto our boards, gazing out towards the horizon with a mixture of awe and what-have-we done?

An impressive set rolled toward us. We looked at each other wide-eyed, filled with equal parts of excitement and anxiety, wondering whether to go for it. We knew once we committed, there was no turning back. You can’t tell an 8 foot wave, “Sorry, I changed my mind.”

We decided to go for it. We kicked as hard as we could to match the speed of the wave and caught it. The swell lifted us up and shot us forward. Whoosh.

I remember sliding down the face of that wave, cutting back and forth as we rode it all the way in until we scraped our bellies on the beach.

We looked at each other, grinning from ear to ear, nodded in agreement and went back out for another shot of adrenaline. It was one of the most intense experiences of my life. I will always be glad we listened to the voice of confidence instead of the voice of fear.

Are you at a Crucial Crossroads? Do you want to try something new - speak at a conference, launch a startup, write a book, ask for a promotion, go back to college, train for a 10K?

Are you standing on the beach going, “Should I . . .shouldn’t I . . . should I . . . shouldn’t I?’

You’ll never know standing on the beach.

We're not here to stand on the shore, giving in to doubts. We're here to GO IN.

Soren Kierkegaard said, “We always experience anxiety whenever we confront the potential of our own development.”

Do what makes you anxious; don’t do what makes you depressed.

I have never met anyone who regretted listening to the voice of confidence instead of the voice of fear. We don't regret going for our dreams – even if they don't turn out the way we anticipated.

When we act on our hopes (instead of our doubts) and reach out for what puts the light on in our eyes, we feel an inner sense of rightness, “This is how I’m supposed to feel.”

When we retreat, withdraw and give in to fear, the lights goes out. We feel safe, but sorry.

When we believe in our self and bet on our self, things just keep getting better and better.

Sometime this week you’ll come to a Crucial Crossroad. You'll be called to do something that resonates with you, that aligns with the person you want to be, you know you can be.

Which voice will you choose to listen to?

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Sam Horn, CEO/Founder of the Intrigue Agency, is on a mission to help people create compelling communications that add value for all involved. Check out her books and TEDx talk on INTRIGUE. Discover why her work has been featured in NY Times, Forbes, INC, Fast Company and presented to Intel, Cisco, NASA, Accenture, Capital One, YPO and EO.

Change Doesn't Take Courage - It Takes Clarity

"You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute." - Tina Fey We can want to change, even know we need to change, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we will change. It takes urgency and clarity to change things up. Here's what I mean.

A forty-something woman names Beverly raised her hand in a SOMEDAY presentation in Waikiki and said, “I’ve been to inspiring keynotes before. I go home all fired up, then life intervenes, and two weeks later everything is back to same old, same old. Any suggestions?”

I told her, “Have a pretend S.E.E. to give yourself a sense of urgency and clarity. An S.E.E. is a Significant Emotional Event. Unfortunately, most are dramatic or traumatic. We get fired, divorced, have a heart attack or lose a loved one. This forces us to re-evaluate the way we’re living. We realize there are no guarantees so we’re motivated to focus on what's important and change things up now because we realize we may not get a second chance. The way I see it, why not have a pretend S.E.E. so we get the epiphany without the pain?”

“What’s an example of a pretend S.E.E.?”

“We can do one right here, right now. Just ask yourself, “If I only had a week to live, what would I stop doing? What would I start doing? What would I do differently?”

“You’re asking us to imagine we’re going to croak in a week? Isn’t that a little morbid?”

I smiled, “Thinking about our mortality isn’t morbid; it’s motivating. Sometimes it’s just the incentive we need to stop taking our life, health, loved ones and freedoms for granted and to change our life - for good.

She said, “Okay, I’ll play along. If I only had a week to live, I would stop letting fear rule my life and start doing things that scare me.”

“Like what?”

“Like going into the ocean. I watched JAWS when I was a kid. Big mistake. Here I am in Hawaii and I haven’t even gone into the water.”

I said, “Okay, let’s hack that fear. One way to hack fears is to realize they don’t prevent things from going wrong; they prevent things from going right. Do you know about the swim area by the Natatorium where Duke Kahanamoku used to swim? It’s only three feet deep so there’s no way you can get in over your head, and there’s only one small opening in the sea wall so the surf can’t get in and neither can the sharks. Let’s put a date on the calendar so you don’t wiggle out of your intentions. When are you leaving the islands?”

“We fly out in two days.”

“Then tomorrow is the day. Schedule a 6 a.m. wake-up call. When the alarm goes off and you’re tempted to roll over and go back to sleep, ask yourself, ‘What will matter a year from now? That I got an extra hour of sleep? Or that I finally overcame a fear that’s been keeping me from living full out, and I got up and outside and had a one-of-a-kind experience I’ll always be grateful for?”

“It’s worth a try. But why 6 am?”

“Because sunrise is at 6:30 am and you want to be at water’s edge, ready to step into the ocean the moment the sun rises over Diamond Head. It will be what Hawaiians call a ‘chicken skin’ experience. Experiences are more meaningful when they’re metaphors. You’re not just stepping into the ocean, you’re stepping into a new way of life where you remember your mortality and make changes to make the most of life now, not someday.”

I added, “Here’s my card with my number. Text me and let me know how it goes, okay?”

The next day Beverly texted, “I DID IT!” with an exclamation point and smiley face emoji.

What is a change you want to make? Instead of vaguely promising yourself you’ll do it someday, could you have a pretend S.E.E. to give yourself a sense of urgency and clarity so you’re motivated to act on it today?

If fears are holding you back, ask yourself, “What will matter a year from now?” Remember, fears don’t prevent things from going wrong; they prevent things from going right.

As Tina Fey points out, we can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide never going in. Courage is just remembering what's important.

You will never regret doing something that makes you happier, healtheir, more fulfilled. You'll only regret playing it safe, letting fear win, and taking yourself out of the game of life.

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Sam Horn, CEO of the Intrigue Agency, is on a mission to help people create a quality life-work that adds value for all involved. Her TEDx talk and books Tongue Fu!, POP! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? have been featured in NY Times and presented to Intel, Capital One, NASA, Boeing, YPO, Cisco. Want Sam to present her inspiring keynote for your conference? Contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com.

What We Accept, We Teach

Are you in a situation that makes you unhappy? Have you tried everything to make it better but nothing's worked? Are you staying because it seems too daunting to leave?

We often think an unhealthy, unhappy situation only affects us. No, it's affecting everyone around us. We're teaching them THIS is what a relationship looks like. THIS is how people treat each other. THIS is what life looks like ... people suffer but don't do anything to change things for the better.

I remember one deeply unhappy woman who told me, "When I got married, I took vows for 'better or worse.' Well, this is definitely worse, but I'm a Catholic and no one in our family has ever gotten a divorce, so I'm stuck. It is what it is."

We may think we’re doing the “right thing” by staying in a situation where we’re deeply unhappy.

We’re taught that winners never quit.

We're taught to keep our commitments – for better or for worse.

So, we stay.

We stay in a job we hate to "pay the bills."

We stay on boards and committees with non-stop in-fighting because “it is what it is.”

We stay in a toxic marriage “for the kids.”

The thing is, when we’re deeply unhappy, we’re affecting the people around us, whether we intend to or not.

We have to ask ourselves, “What am I teaching by staying?”

Am I teaching my kids that THIS is what marriage looks like? Two adults who don’t even like each other? Who bicker and co-exist in a loveless relationship?

Am I modeling that this is what a career looks like? Sacrificing decades of our life at a soul-sucking job to provide for our family? If you ask the kids in those families what they want, they’ll often say “We don’t want you working all the time and coming home exhausted and angry every night. We want you to be happy.”

Am I teaching that this is what it means to be on a committee or board? People jockeying for position, embroiled in personality conflicts, spinning their wheels and not getting anything done or making a positive difference?

Am I modeling that the “responsible, right thing to do” is to stay in an unhealthy, unproductive situation even when it’s not adding value?

Wouldn’t it be better to model it's our responsibility to create a healthy, happy life?

Wouldn’t it be better to be teach - that if nothing we've tried has improved a situation - we find/create something better so we’re honoring the time we have left?

Wouldn’t it be better to demonstrate wisdom by leaving a consistently abusive relationship and seeking one where the people involved treat each other with respect?

Isn’t that what we all want, need and deserve?

Isn’t that what we want to teach?

Isn’t that what we want for our loved ones and what they want for us?

Happiness sets up a ripple effect. So does unhappiness.

What ripple effects are you setting in motion?

If you won’t replace a toxic situation with something more positive for yourself, will you do it for the people who are watching and learning from your example?

Please note: I’m not suggesting we act impulsively or irresponsibly. I understand there are circumstances where we do what we don't want for a certain amount of time because it serves a greater good. What I'm suggesting is we stop waiting for things to get better and start initiating sto make them better ... now, not someday.

One day or Day One. You decide.

(And if you're in a toxic relationship that is causing the unhappiness, you might find this article helpful. It has questions to help you decide if you're dealing with a toxic 5%er who is not motivated to change because they want CONTROL, not cooperation.)

Day Right Quote #58: Quit Watering Dead Flowers

What a joy visiting Hawaii's famous Talk Story Bookstore, meeting owners Ed and Cynthia Justus and hearing their surprising secrets to building a successful life and business in an out-of-the-way location. Here are a few take-aways from my interview with them. The #1 Prerequisite for a Profitable Retail Business is NOT Location, Location, Location - It’s Clarity, Clarity, Clarity

Their bookstore is on the least-visited major island and in a town of less than 3000 people. Yet they have been one of Hawaii’s Top 50 Fastest-Growing businesses for the past five years. TripAdvisor says they’re THE #1 visitor destination on Kauai.

How can this be? In one word …CLARITY. Clarity is the new location. Clarity about who they are. What they want. What they don’t want. And they stay true to those priorities. Which means gently and firmly enforcing their rules.

For example, you’ve heard “There’s no crying in baseball?” Well, there are no thongs in bookstores. At least not in THEIR bookstore. The twenty-something who walked in wearing her version of an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie yellow polka-dot bikini was asked to honor their posted sign, “No shoes, no shirt, no shorts, no service.”

The woman who told them she was going to leave her kids in the store while she went shopping across the street? Nope. “This is a bookstore, not a babysitting service.”

PAVE THE PATHS

Ed and Cynthia didn’t have a background in the book biz and didn’t plan on buying a bookstore. They visited Kauai on their honeymoon and liked it so much, they decided to take a leap of faith and stay. How did they make money from the first day they put their sign up, when they had no experience in the industry?

Ed says, “Amazon’s website taught us everything we needed to know about book-selling. Instead of us trying to figure out which books to stock and what to charge, we simply followed the favorites. Why re-create the wheel? Their site told us the most popular books in each genre and the going price for gently-used books.”

I said, “That’s brilliant. There’s an urban legend called ‘Pave the Paths’ which recommends that instead of prematurely installing sidewalks at public places (e.g., colleges and county buildings), it's smarter to wait and find out where people naturally walk and then put the sidewalks there.

That’s what you did. Instead of stocking what you hoped might sell, you 'booked the beloveds' and bought proven ever-greens that have a track record of always being in demand."

Don’t follow The Rules; Follow Your Values

For example, the “rules” say a brick and mortar store has to have a cash register, right? The problem is, cash registers lock you into one location, often in a front corner of your store. What if you have a customer in back who can’t find what they want? If there’s no one around to answer their question, they often leave and don't come back.

Ed and Cyndi don’t have a cash register; they have cash belts. Wearing a cash belt around their waist gives them freedom to wander the store and connect with their customers. While I was there, they greeted every single person who walked in the store. One was always out on the floor, asking people if they were looking for something in particular and then pointing out recommended authors in their preferred genre.

The trend of many bookstores is to offer coffee to attract customers. Well, they tried that and you know what they learned? Coffee sells coffee. Books sell books.

Another “rule” of retail businesses is you need to diversity if you want to grow. So, they added an art gallery with works from local artists. A restaurant. Book clubs. Internet service. Chairs so people could sit.

Guess what they discovered? Those extra services took lots of extra time and effort, created a lot of problems they didn't want or need ... and didn’t boost profits. In fact, Cyndi said, “We found that for every chair we took away, we added an extra $1000 of income. People who sit and read books for free for hours often walk out without buying any books."

The rules say a retail business needs an inventory system. Ed said, “Why? We mostly stock one copy of each book. Why spend a lot of time logging in and tracking single sales? Plus, we handle every purchase so we know what’s selling and what’s not.”

The Secret to Loving Your Life and Work? Stop Watering Dead Plants

As we talked, it was clear to me that one of the reasons they’ve been so successful is they QUIT doing things that didn’t work; that didn’t make money; and that didn’t bring them joy. This frees up time and money for business activities that contribute to their quality of life instead of compromise it.

They quit the belief that bigger is better. They've built and sustained a successful business because they've honored their belief, "If we don't love it; we don't do it. If it doesn't add personal and professional value, we drop it."

Chip Away Everything That is NOT David

I told them, “There’s a (perhaps apocryphal) story about Michelangelo who said, when asked how he creating his masterpiece sculpture, ‘It’s easy. I just chipped away everything that wasn’t David.’"

I smiled and said, "You have ‘David’d your business and life. You have chipped away everything that isn’t congruent with your values and vision. As a result, the light is on in your eyes and you’re successful for all the right reasons.”

So, what surprising lessons did I take away from my time with Ed and Cyndi?

* CLARIFY your values, vision, priorities and policies and STAY TRUE to them.

* Quit watering dead plants and DAVID your life and business.

* Gently and firmly ENFORCE RULES to protect what’s important to you.

When we do the above, we build a successful life, business and career where the light is on in our eyes - and things just keep getting better and better – for all the right reasons.

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Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert, is on a mission to help people create quality projects that add value for all involved. Her work - including her TEDx talk - and books POP!, IDEApreneur, Tongue Fu! and Got Your Attention? have been featured in NY Times, Forbes, Fast Company and presented to NASA, National Geographic, Capital One, YPO. Want Sam to share her inspiring insights on how to create a successful life and career at your next convention? Contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com

Day Right Quote #22: The Moment You Put a Date on the Calendar is the Moment Your IDEA Becomes REALITY

I'm hosting a salon in NYC next week and a friend asked how she should prepare. She asked if she should just talk about her advocacy for woman business authors or what. I said, "No, put a date on the calendar and tell us WHEN you plan to host a Tele-Summit or live event.

If you get this bandwagon out of the garage, people will jump on it.

The moment you put a date on the calendar is the moment your IDEA becomes REALITY.

Day Right Quote #20: The Future Started Yesterday and We're Already Late

"The future started yesterday, and we're already late." - John Legend This is one of the most important lessons-learned from my travels the past couple of years.

So many people talk wistfully of what they're going to do ... someday. They feel they have too many responsibilities to do what they want now, but plan to do that when they have more time, money, freedom, health .. (fill in the blank.)

What if that never happens?

The clock is ticking. Not in a morbid way. In a motivating way.

Have you become a chronic procrastinator? Are you automatically telling yourself, "I'll do more of what I really want when I retire, when things aren't so busy at work, when the kids go off to college, when I have ....(what?)

Waiting to do more of what puts the light on in your eyes a path to regrets.

You don't have to completely overhaul your life or walk away from your responsibilities. Just pick ONE thing that's important to you and start doing it once a week - or saving for it so you can do it this year and you have something to look forward to. Make today the "later" you've been waiting for.

Lesson #10. It Wasn't a Mid-Life Crisis; It was Mid-Life Clarity

When I announced my plans to embark upon my Year by the Water adventure, most people were happy for me and said something along the lines of, “Take me with you!” A few, however, expressed “concerns. A meeting planner cautioned me with, “Sam, I hope you know you’re taking a risk by taking yourself off the grid. You need to control this story or the business you’ve worked so hard to build may not be here when you come back. You know, you can’t put the genie back in the bottle.”

A highly successful investor told me, "I'm envious, but I could never just do nothing. I'd go crazy if I didn't work."

Another wanted to know, “Is something wrong?” In other words, “Are you sick, on your deathbed or just having a mid-life crisis?”

I listened to their concerns, and then assured them my decision to take my business on a road trip wasn’t a mid-life CRISIS, it was mid-life CLARITY. I was clear that:

I wasn’t QUITTING work – I was doing a different KIND of work.

I wasn’t doing NOTHING – I was doing SOMETHING that put the light on in my eyes just thinking about it.

There wasn’t anything WRONG with my life – I was taking steps to create a more RIGHT life.

And I certainly wasn’t going to hide this from my business community, I was going to invite them to come along so they could vicariously experience the adventures and insights with me.

What helped me get this mid-life clarity?

Well, a lot of things. One was something my son Andrew told me. Another was a health scare and the doctor warning me I better take better care of myself or my body would do something more drastic to get my attention.

Another was a variety of quotes that served as wake-up calls and motivated me to “get a move on.”

They included Paulo Coelho’s sober reminder, “One day you’re going to wake up and there won’t be any time left to do the things you’ve always wanted to do.”

Another was my clarity of how fortunate I am to be in a position to answer what called me.

I’m not one of the 65 million people (29% of the U.S. population) taking care of a chronically ill, disabled or aged friend or family member. I can operate my business from anywhere. And while I’m not independently wealthy, I’m wealthy in what matters. I have the health, freedom and autonomy to disrupt my life and do things differently.

There was nothing holding me back … so I took eighteen months to swim with dolphins, watch the sun rise over Diamond Head, take a photography workshop in Monet’s Garden, sail the Chesapeake Bay, drive the back-roads of America (and almost over a cliff on California’s Pacific Coast Highway) ... write about my experiences and epiphanies.

I will always be grateful for that adventure. It was one of the most deeply satisfying experiences of my life.

What I didn't anticipate was My Year by the Water ended up NOT being about the water.

Yes, I visited some of nature's wonders - oceans, waterfalls, mountain streams - but what made this experience so memorable and pivotal wasn't the places I visited; it was the disruptive epiphanies that challenged everything I thought I knew about what it takes to lead a meaningful life.

Aristotle said, “An unexamined life is not worth living."

Well, after going 24/7 for the past few decades, this trip gave me the time and space to reflect on my life.

What I discovered, much to my surprise, was that many of my life-long beliefs and behaviors like “It’s better to give than receive” and “Winners never quit and quitters never win” "Hard work is the secret to success" – were not contributing to a quality life; they were compromising it.

As a result of having time to examine what was working, what wasn’t and what I was going to do differently; my life has been enriched in ways that are better than I could have imagined.

I know you’re busy and may not have the incentive or resources to take a road trip.The good news? You don’t have to quit your job, win the lottery, get a divorce or walk away from your obligations to embark upon a "virtual" road trip. In my upcoming book Chase Meaning Not Clicks, you can vicariously experience those put-you-in-the-scene adventures in short chapters, all which can be read in under 10 minutes.

What's even better, ou don't have to wait for the book to come out in early 2018 to benefit from those insights. Here are my top ten lessons-learned. Hope they give you the CLARITY, incentive and inspiration to do more of what puts the light on in your eyes starting today ... not someday.

1. A Life We Love Is Often One Small Change Away

2. We’re Not Torn Between Two Worlds – We Have the Best of Both Worlds

3. Why Do We Keep Driving Into Hurricanes?

4. If We’re Lonely, We’re Not Paying Attention

5. Courage Is Trusting We Can Figure Things Out Along the Way

6. It’s Not Selfish To Put Yourself in Your Own Story

7. There Is No Present Like The Time To Do More of What Puts The Light On In Your Eyes

8. Figure Out What You Want to Do NEXT and Start Doing It NOW

9. Fun Is Not a Four-Letter Word

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One of the great joys of my life is having the opportunity to share my adventures/insights at conferences. If you're planning a program and would like a presentation that gives your participants an opportunity to connect, reflect, and identify what they can do to stop waiting and start creating a life where the light is on in their eyes, contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com. It'd be a pleasure and a privilege to share these inspiring stories with your group so they're creating the quality of life and work they want now, not someday.

Lesson #8 From My Year by the Water: Figure Out Your NEXT and Start Doing it NOW

I had an opportunity to speak for a national convention on the topic of "Is the Light On In Your Eyes?" The conference theme was "Reflections on Success" and I started by saying many of us spend more time reflecting on what movie to watch this weekend than on what we're going to do with the rest of our life. Sound familiar?

Many of the people in the audience were successful entrepreneurs who have so many different projects and people counting on them, they feel they can't take time off. Many work 60-70 hour weeks and haven't taken a vacation for years. Some are ready to retire, but can't imagine what they're going to do NEXT that could be as satisfying and productive as what they're currently doing.

I told them we were going to spend the next ninety minutes reflecting on what's working, what's not and what we're going to do about it NEXT. I shared a quiz that can help anyone figure out in 4 minutes what's supporting their happiness, what's sabotaging it.

One of the options we talked about is how to make our passion - what puts the light on in our eyes - part of our profession. Many people told me they're too "busy" to do the hobbies that used to bring them joy. I told them, they can COMBINE their recreation WITH their work in a win-win way - instead of seeing them as being mutually exclusive.

Here's what I mean.

Several years ago, I had the pleasure of sharing breakfast with Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, the largest networking organization in the world. After hearing about my full calendar of #speaking, #consulting and #traveling, he asked, "What do you do for fun?"

Long pause. I finally dug deep and came up with "I walk my dog around the lake."

Please don't get me wrong. I love what I do and I am grateful to have the opportunity to do work with smart talented people who are making a positive difference in the world ... it's just that I was going 24/7.

That conversation and several other wake-up calls motivated me to set out on a Year by the Water. I didn't abandon my business ... I just took it on the road. As James Taylor said when he took a break from touring to compose new lyrics and produce a new album; "I didn't quit work - I did a different kind of work. " I went from non-stop productivity to full-time creativity. I did the opposite of my always and the contrast filled me with joy.

What I learned on my travels is that you don't have to be torn between two worlds - you can have the best of both worlds. You don't have to put aside what puts the light on in your eyes - you can integrate it into your work so you feel more balanced and blessed. You don't have to lose your "hobby" because you're always working, you can leverage your hobby to make your work fun and productive.

Want an example of how this works?

When I lived on#Maui, I had a friend named Kathy who was a 4.5 tennis player and a Realtor. We played a couple times a week until the economy slumped and she told me she was too bus" finding clients to play tennis anymore.

I suggested her hobby wasn't an indulgence she do only when she had spare time - it was a competitive edge that could give her access to ideal clients. I suggested she approach the concierges at the Four Seasons and Grand Wailea Resort (both 5 diamond properties catering to affluent travelers - Kathy's target demographic) and let them know they could recommend her to guests looking for a good game of singles. They eagerly did this because Kathy had lived on the island for years, was a respected member of the community, and they trusted her to make this a good experience for their resort guests.

This turned into a win for everyone. Within a month, Kathy was back to playing tennis 3-5 times a week AND had several new clients buying houses. She didn't offend anyone with hard selling. It was natural while sharing an iced-tea after a satisfying match for guests to ask "What do you do?" When they found out she was a Realtor, they'd often ask if she had any available properties for a good price. Not only was Kathy back to being active outside doing something she loved - it became an organic marketing tool that kept her visible and became her secret sauce to success in a down market.

Want other ways to figure out how you can integrate your passion into your profession and keep the light on in your eyes? Want to leverage your years of experience into a new NEXT that makes a positive difference for all involved?

I'm working on a book that shows how to do that, and will be sharing some of the steps on my www.SamHorn.com site and on my LinkedIn page.

You're invited to check out these sample posts to access some of the specific steps on how to create a unique niche ... and shape work you love that matters NOW, not someday ... so you're creating a life-work integration that is personally and professionally satisfying.

Hope you'll visit those sites. You will never regret clarifying what's important to you and bringing more of that into your life ... you will only regret not doing it sooner.

Courage is Trusting You Can Figure Things Out Along the Way

Would you call yourself a brave person? Do you think you're courageous? I've learned that courage is just another word for being resourceful. It's going ahead even when you don't have all the answers. It's trusting you can figure things out along the way.

I got clear about this while sailing the Chesapeake Bay with Captain Jen on her classic schooner. She generously gave me a chance at the helm of her classic schooner the Woodwind (the beautiful yacht featured in the movie Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Christopher Walken and Rachel McAdams.)

What a thrill to feel the sails fill and the boat lift. While beaming from ear to ear, I asked Jen how she got into the business and she shared her backstory.

Jen sailed competitively through college and tried different careers but nothing “stuck.” She and her parents found this beautiful yacht, named her Woodwind, and invested their savings into buying it so Jen could start her own charter business. Jen drove up and down the East Coast searching for the perfect location to operate out of – and found it in Annapolis when she saw the Marriott had an unused dock by their waterfront restaurant.

She walked into the General Manager's office and convinced him it would be a win for the property ("Think of the extra room nights and food/beverage income from new guests.") to allow her to rent that space.

I told her I admired her entrepreneurial spirit and told her the second most-asked question on my Year by the Water was, "How did you get to be so brave?”

I told Jen I never once thought of this as being “brave.”

She smiled and said, “Me neither.”

She told me her folks (both music teachers) owned a boat from when she was a little girl and they often spent summers aboard. Jen remembered them giving her $5 and sending her off in a little dinghy to “get some ice cream.”

She laughed, “I didn’t realize until years later that was their way of getting some privacy. What I also didn’t realize was those solo forays in that dinghy taught me to trust the world. My parents didn’t warn me of the “dangers” of going off on my own. They had confidence I could handle whatever came up, so I had confidence too.”

I told her I had a similar version of that story – except with horses. My sister and I had our own horses by the time we were nine and ten. We would be gone all day, and our folks never worried. They trusted if something went wrong, we’d figure it out. If our horse bucked us off. Figure it out. If our horse ran away with us. Figure it out.

It wasn’t until later in life that I really “got” the enduring impact of those early years. Instead of seeing the world as a dangerous place, my sister and I grew up seeing the world as an adventurous place.

Instead of being afraid something might go wrong, we understood things probably would go wrong at some point, and when they did, it was our responsibility to be resourceful.

We didn’t panic or sit around and wait to be rescued, and we didn’t feel abandoned or think our parents didn’t care about us. We learned we could take care of ourselves - which is the core of courage.

Setting out with anticipation (vs. apprehension) was our norm and Jen’s norm too.

I’ve since learned that for many people, their norm was just the opposite. Their norm was to have over-protective parents who constantly warned them to “be careful.” They weren’t sent off into the world with opportunities to discover their own way; they were cautioned about the danger of strangers and were hovered over by parents who rushed in at the first sign something might go awry.

My folks are gone now – so all I can do is send up heartfelt thanks for giving us a childhood where self-sufficiency was encouraged and where the world was depicted as a wondrous place, waiting to be explored.

One of the reasons my Year by the Water (and my life) has been so rewarding is because I know in my soul that "Courage is simply trusting - that no matter what happens - I can figure it out. Bravery is simply another name for resourcefulness."

After being an entrepreneur for thirty years, and after having the privilege of working with many entrepreneurs in many different industries; I've come to understand that entrepreneurs are explorers and adventurers at heart.

Entrepreneurs revel in their independence. They're not intimidated by uncertainty, they welcome it. They find new ventures exciting (not frightening) because they trust their ability to "figure it out." Instead of being afraid something might go wrong; they jump in and proactively fix what's wrong. They know the world rewards the resourceful.

Do you want to launch something and you're scared? Do you want to start a small business, write a book, learn a new skill, return to a favorite hobby - but you don't know exactly how to do it or you're afraid you won't do it perfectly?

Do it anyway and figure it out along the way.

As my son Andrew would say, "GTS it. GTS = Google that Stuff. You can find out ANYTHING you want to know in seconds. If you put "How can I start a small business? How can I start my own web design agency? How can I get funding for my startup, How can I market my new business?" into search, up will come the answers to the test. There's no mystery how to do things anymore. Experts are sharing their best practices for free and they can guide you on your way.

Print this out and take a friend to lunch today. Use this as a discussion guide to support you in seeing yourself as brave and moving forward what you would like to do.

1: Reflect and look back to clarify your beliefs: Were you brought up to trust or distrust the world? Were you encouraged to explore - to be entrepreneurial? Were you given opportunities to "figure things out?" Do you play it safe? Do you worry about things going wrong or do you expect them to and just get resourceful when they do?

2: Look ahead to clarify what you're going to believe from now on: Start thinking of yourself as courageous. Trust you can figure things out along the way. Instead of thinking, "I don't know, so I can't go," GTS what you need to know. Set things in motion. Understanding that if things can wrong, you can handle them. Picture how fulfilling life is going to be now that you see it as an adventure; how exciting it's going to be to explore new opportunities, go new place, make new friends, delight in new discoveries.

Lesson #1 From My Year by the Water: A Life We Love Is Often One Small Change Away

As I speak on how to create a life we love, attendees have asked if I would feature some of my stories and lessons-learned on this site so they can be inspired and share them with others. Consider it done. Hope you enjoy them and find them interesting and useful.

That phrase "A life we love is often one small change away" was inspired by something my literary agent said. I met with my her in NYC to brainstorm/strategize my book about the adventures and insights from my Year by the Water.

The book is titled "SOMEDAY is Not a Day in the Week"

After reviewing the Table of Contents she said, “Oh, so this is about how we can change at any age.”

Wow. I never thought of that way, but as soon as she said it, I knew she was right.

One of the most important lessons-learned from my Year by the Water is that you don't have to give away 95% of what you own, you don't have to quit your job, win the lottery or walk away from your responsibilities to create a life you love.

You can do it right now, right where you are, by doing ONE thing a day that is in alignment with your values and priorities. If you do ONE thing a day that makes you feel good about yourself, one thing that puts the light in your eyes, your life just keeps getting better and better and better.

One of my favorite quotes on how to create a live we love is from Jeff Bezos who says, “The only danger is not to evolve.”

Let’s re-frame that. Every day is an invitation to evolve.

One of the many things I've learned is a life we love is not one and done. It is an always-evolving process.

So, what do you do that makes you feel good about yourself? What puts the light on in your eyes?

Is it getting outside in nature? Spending time with loved ones? Playing music or your favorite sport? Traveling and exploring? Contributing to a cause that's greater than yourself? Getting a creative project out in the world?

How will you make time for that this week? When, where and how will you do that or set it in motion?

Please understand, It doesn't have to a big thing; it just needs to be something.

You don't have to make a major change to make a major difference.

Leading a life where the light is on in our eyes is often one small change away. And it doesn't take courage to do something that's important to us - it just takes DOING IT.

Four FAQ's from Sam's Year by the Water

Robin Gerber says, "Don’t look back. We’re not going that way." I think it’s okay, even enlightening, to look back if the reflections lead to epiphanies. So, as I wrap up my final day on My Year by the Water watching the sun rise over Diamond Head and going for a swim in the gentle ocean here in Hawaii, I reflect on the many blessed adventures and insights from the past 15 months.

I smile as I think of the same four questions I heard again and again, regardless of where I was or who I was with.

1. “Don’t you ever get lonely?”

Nope, I never felt lonely. I felt … connected. My family and friends were with me, even when they weren't with me. Plus, I agree with Beth Buelow who said, “I’m not anti-social; I’m pro solitude.” I loved having autonomy and a road of my own. I felt connected to LIFE.

2. “How did you get to be so brave?”

I never thought of it as brave. Thanks to riding horses when I grew up, I learned how to be resourceful when things went wrong. Your bridle breaks? You get bucked off? Figure it out! As a result, I see the world as a safe vs. a dangerous place. I trust I'll be able to handle whatever happens. Being adventurous, exploring new places, doesn’t scare me, it thrills me.

3. “What’s been your favorite place?”

It isn’t the places I remember. It’s the experiences. Swimming with Zach the dolphin and watching him LEAP into the air into a triple back flip will always be one of my favorite memories.

But often, it was the quiet moments that left the greatest impression.

Like the time I was driving from Houston to California. I had already criss-crossed the country three times and had vowed NOT to go through El Paso or take HWY 10, ever again. So, I’m on back-roads. Every time I get to a cross-roads, I simply take whatever road heads west. Many people think Texas is dry and barren, but its famous hill country after a rain can surprise you with sweeping vistas of green. I am driving at my favorite time of day, golden hour, the gentle moments just before the sun goes down. I crest a hill and discover a golden field spread out in front of me stretching to the horizon. I pull over and step out into a vast silence. The only sound is a soft breeze through the tree next to me. I am immersed in this magical moment, deeply glad to be there, grateful to be alive.

4. “So, when are you going to settle down?”

Every time I was asked that, I thought, “’Settle’ means compromise. ‘Down’ means depressed. Why would I do that?” But then my sons and their lady loves have new babies on the way and they’ve invited me to come stay with them in Colorado and NYC.

As Bilbo Baggins says, “I am quite ready for another adventure.” I know it's a gift that Tom, Patty, Andrew and Miki want me to be part of their lives. I want to honor that gift, and I am ready and eager for the adventure of grandmother-hood. Receive, receive, receive. Revel, revel, revel.

By the way, the most common reaction I got when people found out I was on my Year by the Water?

“Gee, I wish I could do something like that” or “Someday, I’d like to ….” and then people would fill in their dream, their own version of the adventure they’ve always wanted to take.

When it was appropriate, I would share these three quotes.

“The problem is, you think you have time.” - the Buddha

“One day, you’re going to wake up and there won’t be any time left to do the things you’ve always wanted to do.” – Paulo Coelho

"If you want more luck; take more chances." - Brian Tracy

I would gently suggest that instead of assuming they’ll be able to fulfill that dream or take that adventure LATER; they take a chance on themselves, jump-start their SerenDestiny and start doing a little more of what puts the light on in their eyes ... now, not someday.

Want more epiphanies from my Year by the Water? My book There is No Present Like the Time, featuring adventures and insights from my Year by the Water, will be available in early 2018. Sample chapters include:

• Stop Watering Dead Plants

• Water You Waiting For?

• Why Am I Driving into a Hurricane?

• Start with an OPEN Mind, not the END in Mind

• Jumping off the Aircraft Carrier

• We CAN Go Home Again

• Leave Room for Whims

* Why Limit Happy to an Hour?

- - -

Sam Horn, Founder/CEO of the Intrigue Agency, is on a mission to help people create quality, one-of-a-kind projects that add value for all involved. Her work - including her TEDx talk and books Tongue Fu!, POP! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - have been featured in the NY Times and presented to Cisco, Boeing, Intel.

Life's Waiting. Wade in.

"The longer you wait for your future; the shorter it will be." - slogan on coffee mug I was at a beach in Kauai over the weekend. A couple next to me said they'd been looking forward to getting into the ocean but it was "too cold." Meanwhile, a little boy waded in and started splashing around. He was clearly having the time of his life. The couple looked at each other, ditched their cover-ups, and were in the water with him a moment later. The moral of the story? Life's waiting. Wade in.

This theme of "initiating instead of waiting" has emerged as one of the most important lessons-learned of my travels. I remember meeting someone on the beach in Hilton Head, SC. and walking together for awhile. She was really curious as to what catalyzed My Year by the Water.

I told her my son Andrew had stopped me in my tracks and motivated me to re-think my habits by saying, "Mom, there's something about you I don't understand. You've created a life where you can do anything you want, and you're not taking advantage of it."

He was right. As much as I loved my work of speaking, writing, and consulting, my routines had been pretty much the same thing for 20 years. It was time to switch things up. I realized, the clock is ticking, not in a morbid way, in a motivating way."

I realized many of us wait for the perfect circumstances to do what we really want. We wait until we retire or until we have more money or time.

The problem with that? We'll never have more time than we have right now.

Plus, some of us wait to do what we want only to find that when we finally have the time and money, we don't have our health or we don't have the person we wanted to spend our time and money with.

I was also motivated by something my mom used tell me when I was procrastinating. She'd say, "A year from now, you'll wish you had started today."

All those catalysts were enough to get me off my "but's" ("But what will happen to my business? But what will I do with my house and all my belongings?") and set off on my Year by the Water which has been one of THE most rewarding experiences of my life.

How about you? What do you really want to do? Water you waiting for? Are you having the time of your life?

Someday, when you're looking back at your life, what will you wish you had done? What will you be glad you did? What would put the light on in your eyes?

To add inspiration, I'm sharing a few favorite "Set it in motion TODAY" quotes. Hope these motivate you to put your calendar where your values are and schedule in a date and start time so you stop waiting and start initiating more of what really matters to you.

1. "May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears." - Nelson Mandela

2. "If you don't go; you'll never know." - Robert DeNiro

3. "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't; you'll find an excuse." - Jim Rohn

4. "Are you doing what you're doing today because it works; or because it's what you were doing yesterday?" - Dr. Phil McGraw

5. "Some people never initiate because no one tells them to." - Sam's dad

6 "Exhaustion is not a status symbol." - Brene Brown

7. "I have heard every excuse in the book, except a good one." - Bob Greene

8. "Life offers a second chance. It's called tomorrow." - t-shirt saying

9. "It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis." - M. W. Bonano

10. "You have a life to live. If you're constantly looking back; you're going to walk into traffic." - Jon Hamm

11. "Don't just follow your dreams; launch them." - Sam Horn

12. "The trouble is, you think you have time." -Buddha

13. "Everything you want is on the other side of fear." - Jack Canfield

14. "Once you've done the mental work, there comes a point you have to throw yourself into action and put your heart on the line." - Phil Jackson

15. "The mark of a successful organization (person) isn't whether it has problems; it's whether it has the SAME problems as last year." - John Foster Dulles

16. "What are you going to do?" "I was going to go upstairs." "No, I mean with your life." - dialogue from the movie The Graduate

17. "The scariest moment is always right before you start." - Stephen King

18. "To feel, think, love and learn; surely that is being alive and young in the real sense."- Freya Stark

19. One day you're going to wake up, and there won't be any time left to do the things you've always wanted to do." - Paulo Coelho

20. "Some people get stuck because they keep telling themselves stories about how stuck they are." - Pinterest post (unattributed)

21. "If you don't have a dream; how ya gonna make a dream come true?" South Pacific

22. "When you get a chance to sit it out or dance; I hope you dance." LeAnn Womack

23. "Life expands or contracts in proportion to our courage." - Anais Nin

24. "Nothing will work, unless you do." - Maya Angelou

25. "I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day." - Albert Camus

- - -

Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert and TEDx speaker, is on a mission to help people create respectful, collaborative, one-of-a-kind communications that add value for all involved. Her work - including POP!, Tongue Fu!, and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - has been featured on NPR and in the New York Times and presented to companies around the world including Boeing, NASA, Intel, ASAE, Cisco and YPO.

The Trip to China That Almost Didn't Happen

I am here in the deserted lobby of the 5 star JiaHua Hotel in Beijing at 4 am, reveling in - and writing about - the extraordinary experiences I’ve had these past few days. What a privilege it was speaking for an appreciative audience of 1800 people at China’s 12th Annual Direct Selling convention. I even had a rather unique Justin Bieber experience (minus the screaming girls) and was mobbed after my presentation by eager picture-takers.

I luxuriated in jasmine hot springs, had my toes nibbled on by tiny fish, enjoyed the benefits of a rigorous head-to-toe Thai massage, and was hosted 24-7 by Ms. Cathy, my gracious interpreter who attended to my every need (pictured here with my lucky Mr. Blue Heron journal, flying with his Chinese brethren).

What I’m embarrassed to tell you is … this trip almost didn’t happen. Here’s why.

I’m normally an adventurous person. A frequently-asked question these past 12 months on my YEAR BY THE WATER has been some version of, “How did you get the courage to give away 95% of your possessions and take off on the road … all by yourself? That’s so brave. I could never do that.”

Well, I never thought setting off on this venture was brave. I grew up riding horses. Even when we were 8 and 9 years old, my sister Cheri and I would be gone all day riding with our friends and our parents never worried. If something went wrong, and things often did, they trusted us to “figure it out.”

What if our bridle broke and we’re out in the middle of nowhere? Figure it out.

What if we got bucked off or our horse ran away with us? Figure it out.

I’ll always be grateful to Mom and Dad because the underlying theme of our growing up years was “Life is an adventure; you're supposed to get out in the world and experience it.”

Instead of seeing the world as a dangerous place to be scared of – we grew up seeing it as a safe place to explore. Instead of worrying “What if something goes wrong?” we kind of expected things to go right. If things did go wrong, no worries, we had faith we could figure them out.

So, I was shocked when a course of events led me to “playing it safe” and almost backing out of this China trip. Here’s what happened.

My sister (who’s run my business for 15 years) and I have been negotiating this trip for more than three months. We finally signed the contract two weeks (yes, two weeks, and no, that’s not the norm) before I was to jump on a plane. In the confirmation email, our contact casually mentioned I needed to get a visa.

Need to get a visa?! That had never been mentioned in the three months of negotiating this trip. I’ve had the privilege of speaking around the world – from South Korea to Germany – and never had to apply for a visa before.

I went online to research it and discovered you couldn’t do this online; you needed to go to a Chinese consulate in your state of residence, apply in person and return four-five days later to pick up the approved visa.

Well, that was a deal-breaker.

I’m on the road, my schedule’s fully committed with clients the next two weeks, and I’m nowhere near my home state (not that I even have one anymore).

Plus, the fact that this requirement had come “out of the blue” at this late date made me wonder, “What else hasn’t been mentioned that I need to know?”

Then, a fluke event threw me even deeper into doubt. The day I found out about the visa requirement was the day numerous major internet sites crashed. As you may remember, there were a lot of theories about who caused this and why – and one of the theories was that China or Russia was behind this cyber-attack.

Yikes. Normally, I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but all of a sudden I had big trust issues with this trip. I was flying half-way around the world to a country where I didn’t speak the language and was putting myself in the hands of people I didn’t know. What if the internet went down while I was there and I had no way of contacting loved ones? What did I really know about this organization anyway?

There was another factor contributing to my rapidly multiplying doubts. Over the years, I’ve learned to compartmentalize my travels so I don’t get overwhelmed. I focus on one event at a time as the date gets closer, and that works just fine.

But our contact had not sent us ANY details about my speaking engagement. I didn’t know what hotel I’d be staying at, the event logistics or audience profile, whether there’d be simultaneous translation, etc.

We normally have ALL the W’s – Who, What, Where, When, Why – spelled out months in advance on our contract, but that hadn’t happened with this particular client and I hadn’t been paying attention. Red flags were flying.

I’m a fan of Mary J. Blige’s “No More Drama,” but I found myself uncharacteristically consumed with doubts and fears about this trip. Normally, I wouldn’t think of backing out of a commitment, but I wasn’t sure I could trust this organization. Should I get on that plane or not?

Well, enter my son Tom and daughter-in-law Patty to the rescue. I called them for advice and spelled out the situation. They had been to China and I trusted them to offer a much-needed fresh, objective perspective.

Thank heaven for Millennials and their wise counsel and proactive mentality.

Two minutes into our conversation, Tom had already Googled where I was staying, (Denver), and told me, “Mom, there’s a place called Mile High Visa that has a courier service that can handle this for you. They’ll pick up your application, process it, and return it to you.

Plus, there’s no need to put yourself at the mercy of someone you’re not sure you can count on. Here’s the contact info for the U.S. Embassy in China. Print it out and take it with you. If anything goes wrong, head there. Be sure to get an international phone card for your cell. And write your contact today and tell her exactly what you need from her to feel safe making this trip.”

Patty chimed in to say there was English signage throughout Beijing so I would be able to find my way around if necessary. “We loved our trip there, found the people very friendly, and look forward to going back some day.”

That was enough to “flip the mental switch” from the left side of the ledger where doubts and fears reside - to the right side of the ledger where faith and trust live.

If you know me, you know I love to juxtapose things. I think it’s the quickest way to make complex ideas (and decisions) crystal clear.

What do I mean by juxtaposition? Get a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the center. The left column stands for what’s WRONG. The right column stands for what’s RIGHT.

Or the left column stands for what SABOTAGES or COMPROMISES our effectiveness and success. The right column stands for what SUPPORTS and CONTRIBUTES to our effectiveness and success.

Or, the left column stands for the PAST, the right column stands for the FUTURE.

You get the idea. When you are trying to make a decision, you can put down all the CONS and WORST CASE SCENARIOS (reasons to say NO or NOT GO) on the left. Put down all the PROS and the BEST CASE SCENARIOS (reasons to say YES or TO GO) on the right.

When I did this, it was clear to me that I had drifted over to the doubts and fears on the left side of the ledger because I had AN ABSENCE of INFORMATION.

Anxiety is defined as “not knowing.” I didn’t know what was happening and that absence of information caused a mild state of panic. When we don’t know, we start filling in the blanks, and those blanks often dwell on worse-case scenarios.

But, as Tom and Patty demonstrated, lack of information can be fixed. They gave me tangible resources that helped me regain confidence I could take care of myself and “figure it out” if things went wrong. They filled up the right side of the ledger with their positive experience and expectations that I could have the same.

I needed to do one more thing. When facing a big decision, I’ve always advised my sons to “take the bolder of the options.” I needed to project ahead and ask myself, “Would I regret being a ‘chicken’ and backing out of this trip?”

I think backing out of things is a slippery slope. It’s easy to start being cautious. Playing it safe can become a habit. That’s not who I want to be ... and that's not the path to our SerenDestiny.

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

We have a choice when considering whether to take a trip – and I mean “trip” in every sense of the word. Trip to a new job. Trip to a new country. Trip to a new relationship. We can stay on the left side of the ledger and focus on worries and worse-case scenarios and talk ourselves out of going.

Or we can focus on the right side of the ledger, secure the information we need to feel safe, see the world as an adventurous place waiting to be explored and experienced ... and GO.

I chose the right side of the ledger and I’ll always be glad I did.

People Can't Jump On Your Bandwagon If It's Parked in the Garage

“If you don’t go, you’ll never know.” – Robert De Niro

Many of us operate with the opposite of Robert De Niro’s insight.

If we don’t know; we don’t go. The problem with that?

By definition, anytime we try something for the first time, anytime we launch a new venture ... we DON’T KNOW what we’re doing.

If “knowing what we’re doing” is a prerequisite for moving forward … we never move forward.

Yikes.That’s where GTS comes in. What’s GTS? Let me explain.

A year after my son Andrew graduated from VA Tech with a business degree, we were having dinner.

Andrew had “lucked out” and found a job as an executive recruiter. He was the envy of his college buddies because he was working in a classy downtown office building, making good money and working for a respected, well-connected industry icon who was arranging for him to do neat things like work at events with President Obama and Tony Bennett. Not the normal career trajectory.

Yet, as Andrew talked about his work, I could tell the light had gone out in his eyes. There was no spark. In fact, he used a word I’d never heard him use before. Exhausted.

I asked, “So, are you going down to VA Tech this weekend for Homecoming?”

“Nah. By the time I’d drive down there, I’d only have a few hours before I’d have to turn around and come back. I just don’t have the energy. I’m exhausted.”

Exhausted?!? How could that be? How was it this normally energetic 20-something who "had it all" was feeling burned out?

I asked, “Andrew, what’s up?”

He said, “Mom, I want to quit. I'm grateful for this job, but sitting inside all day at a computer researching job openings and making cold calls is not what I was born to do.”

“What do you want to do?”

Andrew said with a huge smile,. “I want to start a non-profit.”

I have to admit, a conservative person I didn’t even know existed in me popped up and perched on the tip of my tongue. This person wanted to say, “Non-profit?! Do you know how many non-profits are going out of business because donations have dried up? How are you going to pay bills? What about health insurance?”

Thank heaven a wiser voice in me prevailed that asked, “Isn’t this exactly what 20-somethings ought to be doing at this stage of their life?. If Andrew doesn’t go for what he wants now, he may never get a chance later. Good for him for wanting to do work that matters. His dream deserves to be supported, not shut down.”

So, instead of bringing up all the reasons this might not work, I said, “Andrew, you’ve always been resourceful. If you apply yourself and put your mind to it, I know you can pull this off.”

You may be thinking, “But how could Andrew pull this off? He’d never run a non-profit before. He doesn't even know what it takes to make this a success.”

That’s true, and that’s where GTS comes in. GTS stands for Google That Stuff. (As you can imagine, Millennials sometimes substitute another word for stuff.)

Andrew thanked his boss for giving him that job opportunity right out of college – and then promptly got online and Googled “How can I start a non-profit?”

Up came dozens of resources – all telling Andrew exactly what steps he needed to take to "get his bandwagon out of the garage" - how to get a license, develop operating procedures, find a team, develop a website and get funding.

In the course of one year, Andrew recruited 20 (!) interns and found a collaborative work space at the Affinity Lab in Washington DC. It was the ideal environment to get other people on his bandwagon. For example, someone a couple desks over would ask, “Andrew, what are you working on today?”

Andrew would say, “I’m applying for a grant,” and she would say, “Oh, I did that last year. You can borrow my grant proposal and use it as a template.”

Or, he'd admit he'd run into an obstacle finding a location for one of his activities, and that person would say, "Here's the phone number of ____. Call her and let her know I referred you to her." Voila, That lead was exactly what he needed to jump the chain of command and arrange for a water-sports event at a local lake park.

Andrew never had to go it alone as he was surrounded by others who shared and supported his vision and had his back … and front.

The result? Dreams for Kids/DC has sponsored hundreds of adaptive athletic programs for kids with disabilities and gotten them off the sidelines and into the games of life. They have sponsored Extreme Recess clinics with the Washington Nationals, Capitals, Wizards, Mystics and United soccer teams, and made a positive difference for thousands of young people through their Dream Leader programs in schools and their annual Holiday for Hope program at Howard University.

The point? None of this would have happened if Andrew had given up before he started because he ... “didn’t know what he was doing.”

If there’s anything I’ve learned after interviewing hundreds of people about how they set their SerenDestiny in motion – it’s that PEOPLE CAN’T JUMP ON YOUR BANDWAGON IF ITS PARKED IN THE GARAGE.

What do you want to do? What would put the light on in your eyes? Are you hesitating because you don’t know what to do?

Remember – you don’t have to know to go. In fact, the only way you'll ever know is to go.

Get online right now and GTS that dream project that would put the light on in your eyes. . Phrase what you want to do as a question and put it into your favorite search engine – and up will come dozens of resources to help you on your way.

Want to write a book? Google "How can I write a book?"

What to become a ballroom dancer? Google "Where can I take ballroom dance lessons in this zip code?

Want to launch your own business? Google "How can I start my own ___ and then fill in the blanks, e.g., dog walking business, web design business?

Want this year to be your best ever? Want the light on in your eyes? Don't wait until you have all your ducks in a row. GO! GTS what you want to do. And then get your bandwagon (your dream project) out of the garage and get moving.

- - - -

Want an update on Andrew Horn? After ensuring the continued leadership of DFK-DC, he has launched a new "bandwagon." Check out TRIBUTE

Want more insights on how to get your bandwagon out of the garage? Check out other posts on Sam Horn's website SERENDESTINY which shares inspiring lessons-learned from her Year by the Water and tips on how you can create a love you love that matters.

Ripple Effects

One of the most important lessons-learned from my Year by the Water has been the ripple effect rewards of setting something new in motion.

For example, earlier this year, long-time friend Dewitt Jones (renowned National Geographic photographer) shared on Facebook that he’d be a guest expert at a private photography workshop at Monet’s Garden led by Charles Needle.

I immediately signed up even though:

• I’m “not a photographer”
• I don’t know a thing about f-stops, shutter speeds and ISO numbers.
• The other members of the group all had serious chops and years more experience
• I only had my trusty iPhone,not a professional-grade Nikon or Canon.

How could I pass up this one-of-a-kind opportunity to experience and write about one of the Seven Wonders of the Water World?

Imagine my surprise when, the very first day, Charles and Dewitt touted, and tutored us in, in the marvels of the iPhone.

Although they continue to use their “big boy” cameras - they’re big fans of the smart phone’s ability to capture a moment in the moment and the multitude of FREE apps that can “let the play begin.”

Within an hour of our first lesson, everyone was oohing and aahing with amazement at how an “ordinary” picture could become an “extraordinary” picture with a few trial-and-error taps of the finger.

We learned that anything can be art.

For example, I snapped a shot of my salad at lunch.  Granted, this is France so it wasn’t your everyday salad.  It featured delicate peels of pear and fresh lilac nestled in lettuce leaves that tasted as if they’d been plucked from a field that morning.

Thanks to SnapSeed,that snapshot turned into this lovely abstract image.

We wrapped up our week in Monet's Garden at “Golden Hour,” my favorite time of day as this was when the trades died down on Maui and my sons Andrew and Tom and I would head to Keawekapu Beach to play in the golden light before sunset.

That final night in Giverny, we strolled together down its charming main street to Hotel Baudy where Monet used to hang out and paint.

As we walked up, I saw Dewitt and his wife Lady Lynette sitting outside, contentedly sipping a Kir. Dewitt had hung his baseball hat on his knee instead of the table so he wouldn’t forget it.

I laughed out loud, snapped a shot and said, “Guess what the caption is for this photo?

KNEE CAP!”    Bada boom.

A couple minutes later, thanks to an easy-to-use app called SparkPost, I was able to produce this text image which will always bring back fond memories of that very special week and moment.

Over dinner, I suggested we do something my master-mind buddy Mary LoVerde (author of Stop Screaming at the Microwave) taught me.

As Mary explains, “Our annual summer vacation was a water-skiing trip to a lake eight hours away.  On the way there, we were full of anticipation so the drive went by quickly.

The trip home, not so much.  We were all tired, sun-burned and grumpy so, to prevent back-seat bickering, I invented the ‘Best Game.’  Best moment.  Best meal.  Best laugh.  Best new person met."

She continued, “This became our family tradition.  After every gathering – whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, a birthday or graduation - everyone got a chance to create a category and lead a round-table of answers. It’s a wonderfully bonding way to reflect upon, re-experience and celebrate our favorite moments.”

I agree with Mary that when people are gathered, it’s more fun for everyone to facilitate a meaningful shared conversation rather than swap small talk.

So, at our "last supper" in Giverny, I suggested we play Mary's “Best Game:

One by one, participants shared a stand-out memory – whether it was walking into Monet's Garden for the first time and having it take their breath away - or the fact that ten people could photograph the same lily pond and each would come up with a different point of view and perspective about what they saw.

When it was my turn, I said one of my epiphanies from our week together was what a delight it was to discover a new, instantly-rewarding skill at this stage of life.

Most skills have a long, often frustrating, learning ramp.

For example, If you want to learn to play the piano, it will take years of practice  before you get to the point where you can sit down and make beautiful music.

To play quality tennis, you need to hit thousands of forehands, backhands, serves and volleys before you can put them all together and enjoy satisfying games/rallies.

But with smart phone photography, you can have a good time and get decent results - with NO frustration or learning ramp - almost right away.

For me, that was a mini-miracle.  I am WAY over on the letf of the "techie" continuum. Things that come easily and naturally to others are “geek” to me.

But Charles, Dewitt and Jack H. Davis made this so easy to understand and do, it became a fully engaging creative process that produced gratifyingly satisfying results almost immediately – for FREE. Such a deal.

My roomie on this adventure was cherished friend Lynda Davis. Lynda was often up at all hours of the night … not because she couldn’t sleep but because she didn’t want to sleep.  She was having so much fun “binge-playing” with these apps; it was the equivalent of a kid begging for “just one more" before lights out.

So, what’s the moral of this story?

If you believe “You can’t teach old dogs new tricks,” please revisit that false assumption. It could be having negative ripple effects on the variety and quality of your life.

My friend Donna Steinhorn has George Bernard Shaw's quote on her email sig line:

"We don't stop playing because we get old; we get old because we stop playing."

Promise yourself that if a creative opportunity calls to you, you'll answer the call - even if you’ll be the rube of the group and worry you won’t be “good at it.”

If you see an activity that resonates with you – get yourself there – even if you’ve never done it before and aren't sure how it will play out.

If you’re traveling with a group or sitting around the table with friends and family, suggest the “Best Game” to create a connected, meaningful conversation where everyone shares and celebrates favorite moments.

Try something that’s out of your comfort zone and outside your competency zone,

The ripple effect of what you set in motion could enrich your day - and other people's day - for many days to come.

-     -    -     -

Sam Horn is the CEO of The Intrigue Agency which helps clients and audiences create quality, one-of-a-kind projects (TED talks, keynotes, books, brands, businesses and funding pitches) that scale their influence for good.

Sam's inspiring keynotes receive raves from such clients as National Geographic, Accenture, Intel, NASA and Capital One and her work - including her TEDx talk and books Tongue Fu! POP! and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? - have been featured on NPR and in NY Times, Forbes, INC.

She's enjoying the best of all worlds in 2016, traveling the world on her Year by the Water, while speaking, consulting and writing about her experiences and epiphanies.

Roads Less Traveled

I'd like to introduce my new friend ... GPS.. Can you believe, before this trip, I never used GPS?

I remember when my son Tom, a recent graduate of Virginia Tech, moved from Reston, VA to Houston to start working at Mission Control at Johnson Space Center.

I asked him, 'What route are you going to take? Through the Smoky Mountains or along the Gulf Coast?"

He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "GPS, Mom."

I now know what he means.

After crisscrossing the country from coast to coast, I don't know how I could have navigated it without its much-welcomed voice telling me where to turn and when.

I'm also grateful to the little GPS lady for helping me discover treasures off the beaten (or grid-locked) path.

I was driving from Duck, NC to Washington DC on the notorious 95. This was a Sunday, not a work day, so there shouldn't have been much traffic, right?

Wrong!  95 was backed up for miles. Thank heaven, the trusty little GPS lady pinged me with a "faster route now available."

But it wasn't just a faster route ... it was a fresher route.

I've traveled that stretch of 95 dozens of times. Been there, driven that. But I've never explored the green back roads through rolling horse country and experienced the charming small towns that exist minutes away from that congested interstate.

I couldn't get over the fact that I might not have ever known about this lovely part of Virginia if it hadn't been for that "detour."  I also couldn't get over the fact that this unexpected beauty ran almost parallel, often less than a mile away, from that crowded highway.

Metaphorically speaking, it made me wonder what other "roads less traveled" exist off our beaten path?

Where else are we taking an obvious, habitual route instead of exploring different options?

Where else are we settling for crowded paths instead of striking out on our own?

What delights await us if we dare to do the new instead of the tried and true?

Another well-deserved shout-out to Audible, my constant driving companion on my Year by the Water.

Over the last 10,000 miles (really, started Oct. 1 and my loyal Toyota Highlander just logged its 10,420th mile), I have never been alone or lonely.

First, because I stay connected via a current of loving relationships with my friends and family who are with me -  even when they're not with me.

Second, because I've laughed out loud, reflected, been endlessly intrigued and even shed some tears as I listen to fascinating authors share their life stories and insights.

A favorite has been Gloria Steinem's "My Life on the Road." In her thought-provoking memoir,  she recalls campaigning for both Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton as they competed for the 2008 Democratic nomination. When it was time to make a choice, she couldn't make up her mind who to endorse.

She finally had an epiphany.

Barack Obama would probably NOT feel betrayed or lose the nomination if she did not endorse him. But Hilary might; so she endorsed Hilary.

Hmmm ....

Back to deciding which routes to take in our life.

I think, at some level, we betray ourselves when we consistently take the crowded route.

A more interesting life lies just off the congested path.

A more memorable, meaningful life unfolds when we have the courage and curiosity to strike out on our own and take roads less traveled.

Your thoughts?